


but it’s all coming back to me || Jin Sakai ||

by Bone_Zone



Series: The Sword That Cut's Heaven's [4]
Category: Ghost of Tsushima (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Children, F/M, Light Angst, Light Smut, Mention of sex, Song Lyrics, Song fic, tug at your heart strings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-10
Updated: 2020-09-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:01:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26383819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bone_Zone/pseuds/Bone_Zone
Summary: You tried to forget him...but all it took was one touch and every little memory came flooding back.
Relationships: Jin Sakai & Original Female Character(s), Jin Sakai/Original Female Character(s), Jin Sakai/Reader, Jin Sakai/You
Series: The Sword That Cut's Heaven's [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1892686
Comments: 2
Kudos: 29





	but it’s all coming back to me || Jin Sakai ||

**Author's Note:**

> A/n: I got people wanting more of Jin….so I am giving more of Jin!!! lot’s of angst and spoilers in this fic, also flash backs between the reader and Jin are italicized…aka moments before the start of the game.
> 
> Also this will take place during the events of the game and after…really couldn’t give Jin all the angst! the man needs some happiness.
> 
> Warnings: Hinted smut, some graphic content.  
> Listen to this-  
> [It’s All Coming Back to Me Now](https://youtu.be/JsWG2Gry1fw)

> There were nights when the wind was so cold.  
>  That my body froze in bed.  
>  If I just listened to it.  
>  Right outside the window.  
>  There were days when the sun was so cruel.  
>  That all the tears turned to dust.  
>  And I just knew my eyes were.  
>  Drying up forever.  
>  I finished crying in the instant that you left.  
>  And I can’t remember where or when or how.  
>  And I banished every memory you and I had ever made.

You remembered those sleepless nights, the nights where the cold that kept you up. The night you left the estate was the night you left a piece of your heart behind. After what happened between you and Jin, you knew you had too. That fight you both had, the hurtful things you had said to each other. You cried for most of the nights you were alone, your tears drying up until you had nothing but over the years you slowly pushed back the memories you and Jin shared together, you did not think you had the strength to go on if you didn’t.

But then it happened, you saw him again. You thought he was dead, after what happened on the beach but Ryuzo had mentioned something about the Ghost and that Ghost being the very man you tried to forget.

> But when you touch me like this  
>  And you hold me like that  
>  I just have to admit  
>  That it’s all coming back to me  
>  When I touch you like this  
>  And I hold you like that  
>  It’s so hard to believe but  
>  It’s all coming back to me  
>  (It’s all coming back, it’s all coming back to me now)

It was awkward at first, you two not knowing what to do. After the fight you two shared you were even surprised that the man greeted you with a smile. He was the first one to step forward, the first one to wrap his arms around you for a gentle hug. 

And that was all it took, one touch for all those memories to come flooding back. It was strange, it felt you were teenagers again, being in his arms brought back in his arms. It seemed neither of you wanted to break apart but you had too. 

“It’s good to see you again…Jin.” Smiling at the man you placed your hand against his cheek, the man relishing the feeling of your palm on his skin. 

“It is good to see you too….y/n.”

> There were moments of gold  
>  And there were flashes of light  
>  There were things I’d never do again  
>  But then they’d always seemed right

_Stifling your laughter, it was hard not to snicker at your friend. You managed to dodge his strike only to trip him in the nearby pond.  
_

_“It’s a good look on you Jin.” Giving him a wink, you held out your hand for him to take. Feeling his wet hand in yours you suddenly let out a gasp as he tugged you forward. Letting a shriek escape your lips you tumbled into the water as Jin started to laugh.  
_

_“I can say the same thing too you too!”  
_

_Rolling your eyes you gave him a smile as you splashed a waved of water at him, ignoring the golden bird flying above you both._

> There were nights of endless pleasure  
>  It was more than any laws allow  
>  Baby, baby.

_“Jin.”_

_Crying out his name in pleasure was something that you never thought would happen. You never expected this moment to happen, Jin taking you as his first though you were just happy the man you loved was the one that you were losing your first too._

_Doing your best to bask in the after glow, you let out a small laugh as your hand rested against his cheek. Leaning into your touch Jin let out a blissful sigh._

_“I love you.” Muttering against your neck, he remains in his position. Arms wrapped tightly around your waist as he felt sleep creeping in his vision. He didn’t care what his Uncle might have thought. This felt right, you felt right.  
_

_“I love you too…Jin.” placing a small kiss against his cheek it wasn’t long until you both had fallen asleep._

> If I kiss you like this  
>  And if you whisper like that  
>  It was lost long ago  
>  But it’s all coming back to me  
>  If you want me like this  
>  And if you need me like that  
>  It was dead long ago  
>  But it’s all coming back to me  
>  It’s so hard to resist  
>  And it’s all coming back to me  
>  I can barely recall  
>  But it’s all coming back to me now  
>  But it’s all coming back.

“Jin.”

You both were still trying to process Ryuzo’s betrayal, you hated seeing Jin like this. He looked so heart broken, you didn’t even know what to do, how could you fix this?

Biting your lip you stepped forward then placed a hand on his shoulder doing your best to comfort him. “Jin, I know it huts….but I promise you…I will not leave you….not again.”

Closing his eyes, Jin was unsure on what to do. He was unsure if he could confine in Yuna and his Uncle was out of the question. He had to believe you, swallowing the lump that was forming in his throat he let his arms weave around your waist.

“I know.”

You could feel your heart clench in your chest once you felt tears against your neck. Closing your eyes for a moment you then placed your hand against his cheek. “Good.” Unsure if this might make things worse for him you slowly placed your lips against his before you pulled away stepping back.

“If you need me Jin…in anyway.”

Feeling Jin’s hand against your own you were already in his arms, his lips placing a gentle kiss against your head.

“Please…stay the night with me.”

“Of course.”

> There were those empty threats and hollow lies  
>  And whenever you tried to hurt me  
>  I just hurt you even worse  
>  And so much deeper  
>  There were hours that just went on for days  
>  When alone at last we’d count up all the chances  
>  That were lost to us forever  
>  But you were history with the slamming of the door  
>  And I made myself so strong again somehow  
>  And I never wasted any of my time on you since then.

_“I can not marry you!”_

_“Why is that?! Is it because of my Uncle? What did he say to you.”  
_

_“Nothing!” You could feel yourself on edge, tears already staining your cheeks but you forced yourself to be strong.  
_

_“y/n….please…talk to me.” This was supposed to be a happy moment for him, one that he wanted to share with, reaching out to grasp your hands you quickly pulled them away, forcing yourself to avoid his gaze._

_“I am not good enough for you Jin….find another girl.” You whispered, tears streaming down your cheeks. “I will never be good enough.” Whistling for your horse you quickly slipped onto it’s back before he could stop you, the worst thing was not being able to tell him you were pregnant.  
_

* * *

_You didn’t know how you did it, but you managed to stay hidden for eight years. You hated that you had to stay hidden but you made a promise to Lord Shimura. You would leave the man you loved only if it meant that you and you son would be safe._

_You some how managed to make yourself become stronger, you knew that was due to your little boy._

_Though overhearing Ryuzo talking to another Straw hat member._

_“Everyone was slaughtered on Komoda Beach.”  
_

_“Jin.”  
_

_Shaking your head you did not want to believe that Jin was killed, turning around you walked over to your small boy. Knowing the only place you knew he would be safe you had to find your own answers about Jin._

> But if I touch you like this  
>  And if you kiss me like that  
>  It was so long ago  
>  But it’s all coming back to me  
>  If you touch me like this  
>  And if I kiss you like that  
>  It was gone with the wind  
>  But it’s all coming back to me  
>  (It’s all coming back, it’s all coming back to me now)

“Jin…you could have been killed.”

Jin shook his head, that didn’t matter to him, not when he nearly lost Taka. The young man was lucky enough to lose a hand. If you had not stopped that blade he would be burying to friends instead of one.

Though what you did was stupid, he saw the Khan’s blade catch your side. He did not want to think about losing you. If Yuna had not have been their to save you….that was a thought that he did not want to think about. He could tell you were still in pain, from your winces but he wanted to take you to see Shimura. To tell his uncle what you did, that you were to thank, the reason why he was saved.

“I could have lost you.” Reaching you he grasped your hand gently in his.

Letting his thumb run over the back of your palm he then pressed his lips against yours for a soft kiss. Trying to make the kiss last you clutched the fabric of his kimono before pulling away.

“I still love you Jin…I always will…but I can not see your uncle and if you must know why…then ask him.”

Stepping back took a deep breath as you started to walk away. “If he does tell you and if you still love me….then meet me where we first kissed.”

Watching you leave, Jin desperately wanted to stop you. But he needed to know what is uncle did.

> There were moments of gold  
>  And there were flashes of light  
>  There were things we’d never do again  
>  But then they’d always seemed right  
>  There were nights of endless pleasure  
>  It was more than all your laws allow  
>  Baby, baby, baby

_Stifling a laugh, you cleared out your throat holding your hand out to the young man._

_Taking it, Jin scowled as he rubbed his bruise cheek, his arms folding over his chest._

_“Stupid Ryuzo…”  
_

_“I thought you would blame me, I am the one who beat you.”  
_

_“That’s because I was distracted!”  
_

_“Is this about what Ryuzo said….if it is then it’s not true Jin. Lord Shimura loves you.” Smiling you suddenly wrapped your arms around his neck, closing your eyes you relaxed into his arms as he hugged you tightly.  
_

_“You are going to win that tournament and I will be cheering you for you.” Biting your lips you gave him a gentle kiss before pulling back. “If you catch me! I’ll give you a great way to take your mind of a few things.” Giving him a wink you pinched his cheek before rushing off laughing._

> When you touch me like this  
>  And when you hold me like that  
>  It was gone with the wind  
>  But it’s all coming back to me  
>  When you see me like this  
>  And when I see you like that  
>  Then we see what we want to see  
>  All coming back to me  
>  The flesh and the fantasies  
>  All coming back to me  
>  I can barely recall  
>  But it’s all coming back to me now.

You weren’t expecting Jin to show up, sitting under the tree you watched as the red leaves fall down. You son laughing as he tried to catch any that got near him.

“Y/n?”

He was quiet at first, it was hard to read the expression on his face though it did not take long for his gaze to land on the little boy.

“Is he?”

“Yes…I’m assuming your uncle told you?”

You did not want to look at Jin anymore, it was to painful. Sinking your teeth in your lower lip your body stiffened suddenly feeling Jin’s arms wrapped around you tightly.

“Why didn’t you tell me, I could have protected you.”

Holding back a sob you buried your face into Jin’s neck. “We were young…I was scared.”

Rubbing your back gently he pressed his lips against your head, the moment he saw you again he felt all his old memories and feelings rushing back to him. The past did not matter, the only thing that did was having you in his arms and him being able to raise his son once the Khan was dead.

“Do you forgive me Jin?”

“I have nothing to forgive, when you did nothing wrong.”

* * *

Three years have passed since he defeated Kotal Khan, since he sparred his Uncle and drove back the Mongol forces. He still kept in touch with the others, it was good to see everyone now and then.

But right now he had his son to teach, to show him the things Shimura had taught him.

> If you forgive me all this  
>  If I forgive you all that  
>  We forgive and forget  
>  And it’s all coming back to me  
>  When you see me like this  
>  And when I see you like that  
>  We see just what we want to see  
>  All coming back to me  
>  The flesh and the fantasies  
>  All coming back to me  
>  I can barely recall, but it’s all coming back to me now.

He was not lying when he told you that he had nothing to forgive. He did not blame you for leaving. Not when you and him were both so young and having a child out of wedlock. 

While he hated what his Uncle did, he got not blame you. Perhaps some time he would be able to forgive the man but right now he just wanted to spend time with his family.

Hearing his son’s laughter he noticed the boy playing with the dog he had gotten him.

After the pleasurable and blissful nights with you, he was happy to know that he you were pregnant with his third child. While the second was just starting to walk the man couldn’t be happier seeing your stomach swell.

Feeling a smile form on his face, he watched you step out of the door. Your daughter clinging to your skirts until she spotted him. 

“Papa” Reaching out, Jin chuckled as he quickly made his way over to his little girl. 

Closing his eyes he lifted his daughter up as his free hand placed it on your stomach. “Hello, my love.”

Smiling you placed your hand on top of his then cleared out your throat. While Jin off helping Nori and the others, you were busy writing to Shimura. You knew the man was lonely and you wanted him to see Jin’s children, you knew he hated what he’s done and that he just wanted to see Jin again, he did not care what would become of him. 

“You can…come out now.”

Slowly stepping out of the doorway you gave Jin a smile as his eyes widened with shock.

“Uncle?”

“Hello….my son.”

**Author's Note:**

> From my tumblr....I just love Jin man.


End file.
